If there’s one thing that I’ve learned being in the corporate world, it’s this…

Everyone faces imposter syndrome.

No kidding. I used to think it was more of a thing us ladies were plagued by (Sheryl Sandberg certainly leaned into the topic in her book) or a thing that people “lower on the totem pole” felt; but I assure you, after being in business for eight years and networking with other founders, entrepreneurs, and CEOs (and I’m talking about some very successful, headlining-making people), I’ve realized this—regardless of status, background, gender, or any other factor, imposter syndrome seems to be a common denominator amongst professionals.

So, I was particularly intrigued when I heard a gentleman share that he doesn’t feel imposter syndrome in his business or in life.

My instinctual, internal reaction was something like “Pft, ok, man…” paired with a slight eye roll, until I heard him elaborate.

“No, I really don’t deal with it. I just focus on helping people as much as I can. I really try to listen to what’s going on with them, whether it’s in business, life, or any other challenging area, and I just try to give my most honest answer or solution so I can help them.”

I sat there for a moment, slightly stunned, feeling a bit “judgy” about my initial reaction, before the “aha!” happened…

OMG, IMPOSTER SYNDROME IS SELFISH.

No, really, it is.

Think about it.

Imposter syndrome is inherently “me-centric.”

Here’s a little example from my own life:

Before I leaped from corporate to start my business, an accounting firm wanted to hire me as a contractor to help them fix their brand which wasn’t appealing to millennials; they needed help modernizing it.

I did an entire brand audit for them, presented the findings, and they were relieved to finally identify some of the cultural and brand breakdowns driving millennials away from their company faster than you can say “no flex work time and only two weeks of vacation.” (That’s a little millennials-in-the-workplace joke for ya.)

The partners then asked a question that made me super uncomfortable. It went something like this:

Experienced, serious accounting partners: “Kait, this is all really enlightening. Thanks for bringing this to our attention. So, now that we know what’s broken, how can you help us fix it and what’s your rate?”

Me, age 26, with about 5 years of corporate marketing experience to my name: “Ehhh, that’s a great question. I have some ideas and I’m going to have to get back to you on that hourly rate…”

I left feeling so high on how well the presentation went, and then, frankly, pretty nauseous as the ole’ imposter syndrome started lobbing crippling hypotheticals over to me:

“Wow, you sure had them fooled. You’re 26, what the hell do you know about fixing an accounting firm?”

“Hourly rate? Honey, you better pray they accept $30 an hour. You don’t even have a business yet.”

“ABORT! Abort before you agree to a project and then implode their whole firm because you are incompetent.”

Yes, I am a jerk to myself. Yes, there were nastier questions that came up after those. Yes, by the end of it, I did find myself questioning my entire career choice and perhaps the size of my forehead (imposter syndrome is a slippery slope, ok?).

Interestingly enough, though, when we re-examine the above thoughts, notice how many times my questions were centered around myself and not at all about those poor guys who were really confused about how to attract millennial successors to their firm.

Fortunately, I had a mentor at the time who really helped me bust out of the self-sabotage. She helped me reframe the aforementioned thoughts to the below:

“̶W̶o̶w̶,̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶s̶u̶r̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶ ̶f̶o̶o̶l̶e̶d̶.̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶’̶r̶e̶ ̶2̶6̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶f̶i̶x̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶n̶ ̶a̶c̶c̶o̶u̶n̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶i̶r̶m̶?̶”̶  “Exactly, you’re 26, that’s exactly the demographic they need to engage with to build a future for their firm.”

“̶H̶o̶u̶r̶l̶y̶ ̶r̶a̶t̶e̶?̶ ̶H̶o̶n̶e̶y̶,̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶p̶r̶a̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶a̶c̶c̶e̶p̶t̶ ̶$̶3̶0̶ ̶a̶n̶ ̶h̶o̶u̶r̶.̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶u̶s̶i̶n̶e̶s̶s̶ ̶y̶e̶t̶.̶”̶ ̶ “They know you will be working to prove yourself since they’re your first client and they are good guys who want to make sure you are compensated for the hard work they know you’ll do for them. Price it so they and you know you’re bringing your A-game.”

“̶W̶o̶w̶,̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶s̶u̶r̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶ ̶f̶o̶o̶l̶e̶d̶.̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶’̶r̶e̶ ̶2̶6̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶f̶i̶x̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶n̶ ̶a̶c̶c̶o̶u̶n̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶i̶r̶m̶?̶”̶ “You are not the owners of this firm—they are. You cannot implode it; you can just help guide them, and that’s exactly what they’re asking of you, candid guidance on how you think they, as leaders, can fix this brand.”

Notice where the emphasis of her statements were placed versus my initial, imposter syndrome ones. I felt at peace. The focus was off of me, me, me—and it was placed where it rightfully should have been from the beginning—THEM—the value they see, the issues they are having, and the solutions they are seeking from my blended background of being a millennial and helping build an internal corporate brand of over 1,200 employees. (That was my eight years of corporate training).

Friend, this is not a “fake it until you make it” think piece. Nor am I saying that you shouldn’t do some necessary self-assessment of your strengths and weaknesses from time to time. For me, it was just a transformative way to reframe imposter syndrome…the gist of it being this:

The longer you let imposter syndrome fester in your psyche, the less time you get to do the thing that matters most in this world, and that’s selflessly giving your value and gifts to those who need it most.

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